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The best thing to do is to block it out. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone says in the end, I do what I choose. As do others.
No matter how one wants to change someone it simply can't be done by force. Everyone does something they regret, something they wish that they could stop, from a habbit to a 'bad' hobbie.
What makes someone is who they are.
Now some of you wish to listen to a troll. Not that I ever really cared but if you really want to make fun of someone you should at least do it to my face, hahaha, I enjoy a good laugh. Bad troll is bad.
I only write this because some of my friends wish to tell him to STFU, but I don't really care. The best thing is to block it out. So if anything is said about me, don't save it, just ignore it. I fight my own battles.. -coughs- well with some exceptions, but that would be called team work. ;)
Reading back on everything I can see how much I've grown. Not just as a member but as a person.
Truth, justice, moral, liberty, freedom.
With each of those words also comes responsibililty.
Those that hurt others by not caring disgust me. Not to mention what goes on behind the sceens. Every story has 2 sides and then there is always a side story. That which could make or break something. The climax.
Reflecting on the past I have made and lost friends over the months on VR. I've gotten to know people and have felt a bit guilt trippy still about one friend, well someone who used to be a friend. To see what the whores on here do is fucking wrong. To quote someone on something, "I know they can be bad and show everyone nasty stuff but if you take a while to look at it long enough you don't care as much anymore." That quote had nothing to do with what I want to type about but it fits. I've become immune to some people's bullshit. How? Because I gave up on them a long time ago.
Now to talk about my privet entries. Most of them are simply unfinnished thoughts. Some which should be trashed but that of which I just didn't want to throw away because the train of thought reminded me of what it was about.
I just think about what is hidden in these pages. Such corrupiton from just months ago. If only some had a pair of X- ray glasses to truly know my evilness. Ploying, always bent on revenge. I have a heart I think. I just need to do some good with it.
As for the entry below this. Well it's a song that I took from someone's journal. I liked it for once and I wanted to save it somewhere so I kept it in my privet pages, the ones close to my heart of bad blood.
[If this entry seems a bit scatter brained it's because I wrote it at diffrent times of the day, all day long. T__T ]
I believe I've grown more on here than I have whilst being in the outside world. It's a sentiment that quite a few people share, I believe.
You, having seen the double sides of quite a few tussles that have sprung up between members, would have a greater appreciation of what's been going on. It's harder, I think, to know all and yet not be able to help either.
From the sound of it, you've just been desensitised.
And last, you don't have bad blood. You have a pure heart, unlike that of those that give you the title.
Seriously, I think you're a better person that them, just for putting up with their verbal beatings and never lowering yourself to their level, nor reacting at all.
Someone can only take so much before they snap. And you haven't even snapped yet. Heh. :P
I know that I can be a pain in the ass to some people but the others who just cause too much drama on here, I've given up on them. I say hi and shit and they end up writing about me in their journal. Not anyone you would know about and I'm not about to name them.
As for the bad blood bit, I do have bad blood, so I enjoy when they say that. heh.
self-reflection is good, and because you do that well yourself it means that you have a level of maturity that lots dont. As for having a heart...it takes heart to reflect. pah and here's me thinking you were a non-human :P
PRIVATE ENTRY
19:14 Nov 28 2010 Times Read: 688
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PRIVATE ENTRY
13:30 Nov 28 2010 Times Read: 690
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03:49 Nov 28 2010 Times Read: 708
I long for something but I don't know how to express it. My mind is drawing a blank. I'm totally lost. x.x
So is talking to someone annoying and then mentionioning that because one was done with them they didn't get the kitten they would have wanted a bad thing? Then after that talking about their dead cat till they cried, is that worse?
I might be going to hell but for all the lies spread he damn well deserved it. :P
Plus we were never going to be an item ever again. lol Some guys just need to leave the past alone. I mean that was so long ago and I was such a kid. XD He was always scared of me. :3 That was pretty cool. XD
FOR SHAME THIS IS A VAMPIRE WEBSITE! :O! All I see on those darn webcams are bunches of HUMANS! :O
____________
I think the web cams were a nice idea. I've gotten to see some people that I talk to all the time through messages. I have even had fun with people that some are afraid of. I had a great time in most chats, although some guy's chat was disturbing and it bored me so I left.
I didn't get to see the funny Cancer thing from last night but it was fun watching him for a bit.
I'm a fan of bandnrd, MyArmyLife, WallFlower, NurseBloodyTampon, Enanti, And... that's about it I think. o.o
Each cam was a diffrent kind of show depending on the person. The first one to tell me about the cam's and to invite me to chat was bandnrd. She was cool and wonderful as always. REALLY funny and I got to see everyone in chat have a good time.
Then I got to spend a bit of time with Rai Rai! (MyArmyLife) :P She's always a blast to hang out with. I have got to spend more time in her box as soon as she gets back on. lol
With WallFlower's cam I couldn't hear anything but I spent well over a few hours just enjoying his chat. I came up with the WallFlower Groupie kimset. :P His show totally rocked and his sister who used to be BrightSide on here was cool too. LOVED that owl ring! :) lol
I saw NurseBloodyTampon this morning and it was like OMG SAMMY!!!!!! HAHAHA! She rocks! Sam has cute dogs and a wonderful voice not to mention she's pretty! :D Haha, I still want an evil laugh out of her one day. >;p
Lastly there was Enanti. Her cam wasn't so great but she has the voice of an angel! An accent too. :P Ha, she was on for a short time but it was worth it to hear such cuteness! XD I swear everything she types out now I will end up matching up with her voice when I read it. XDD
So apparently I was loged in all day when I was really asleep and it must be that someone else was using the computer, my bad.
Sorry if I worried you guess I slept all day for some reason. -Coughs-
Anyway, for the moment, I'm going to lurk and I'm only going to reply to YOU sweet heart. I loooove you Yoshi. No box, no chats, nothing, for now I'm just going to message you, love. You're all mine and I'm all yours. ♥
This video is for the people who are stalking me. You aren't anything more than the roaches who crawl upon my life. You look at me as if I was a freak well OPEN your damn eyes. I'm human just like you only your shots at me can't put any harm on me. You look at humans as if they were catle, and for that YOU are nothing more than a freak yourself.
This is the part where you go away and stop listening to the walls. You stalking me is pretty creepy and it's sad that any of you guys were jealous of how popular I was. I mean we all used to do everything together because everyone was so damn diffrent. No one belonged and maybe that was everyones big mistake.
Instead of hanging out with cooler people I had respected everyone of you nerds. Ha, well now you've become jealous of my internet friends too? O_O Really that's crazy as fuck. o.o Well I'm glad that you think everyone on VR = Creeps. Hahaha you wouldn't last one second in this place.
Okay so since my other 'friends' are stalking me then I can't write much about some things in this journal. So if anyone really knows the me apart from me then I will start writing in there.
This girl, she really needs to get out of here. Creeper won't stop stalking me and it's sad. I don't give a shit anymore. You guys always did know that I am popular. :P I just wanted to get that small rant out. Rest In Peace friendship. You are dead to me. :)
It's not that I wanted to get off the phone to use my computer, It's that I wanted to get off because I didn't want to talk to you )): Good on you being "Best friends" with a major creeper.
I just want to say if you are reading my journal Kristina the our friendship ended a long time ago. You will not be stalking my personal life and if you are then THAT really means good bye. Furthermore, YOU are the creeper. I really can't stand a freak who won't just talk to humans like a normal person. Guess what FUCK off. I don't need you here.
If you wanna be an attention whore, then go ahead. No one really cares if you're friends with us or not. You're being immature and really, Rose, I don't care...? If you want to seem cool to your internet friends by putting up people that you were REAL LIFE friends with's names on the internet for anyone in the world to see, then go right ahead. I hope it makes you happy and I hope you feel good about yourself later on.
No hard feelings when you decide to end this. I'll be here when you decide to be an adult.
1. I do not dig facebook drama. I don’t do that. I don’t have the energy to have a catty girl fight like it’s third grade and none of us are adults. You have all your internet friends reading that post and that’s not cool. You also put Nora’s name in your journal for anyone to find her and that’s seriously, I don’t have words for that. If you have a problem with me. You know my number or my email. Or hey, Facebook has a pretty handy messaging system.
2. Don’t jump to conclusions. I don’t go anywhere with anyone. I haven’t seen Nora or Asma since June. I haven’t seen them, or you, or anyone since THE LAST DAY OF CLASSES. You’re acting like I’m sneaking around hanging out without saying anything. I’m not a person to go out. I’m not a social butterfly, if I’m not hanging or chatting with you, I’m not chatting or hanging out with anyone. I agreed to hang out then BECAUSE I missed Nora’s birthday party and I felt bad. I’m busy with school and I travel two hours to get to class everyday. I come home at 10 pm and I have classes five days a week. I don’t have much free time.
3. If you have issues with Nora, tell me, how would it make sense/be okay for me or Asma to invite you to places to where Nora is going to be? Asma, Nora and I are friends. We go places with each other; I don’t invite them, they invite me. I’ve been crazy busy and I haven’t been able to go anywhere so it’s been Asma and Nora meeting up together and chilling without me.
4. Just because you have conflict with Nora doesn’t mean I’m going to drop her like a fly and be loyal to you or something. I respect her too much to drop her just because you say this and that or drop you because she says this or that. Look, I’m neutral. Keep your conflict with her, with her. I really don’t care about the battle going on. I had my grief with Nora and I respected her enough and was man enough to go up to her and tell her exactly what I felt was going on. I was able to have a discussion and we worked things out. It wasn’t hard.
5. I know and you know that she didn’t call you a whore in a malicious way. Nora isn’t a malicious person. Even after all this crazy shit, she hasn’t said one bad thing about you, DESPITE you saying all this shit about her. I’ve been really really patient through out this all and my patience is worn. This isn’t high school. You’ll probably never see Nora again. Move on with your life, rise above and beyond something petty like this. This is not worth the dirt on the floor to drag on and on; I’m sick of it and I’m done with it.
Go ahead and block and unadd me, and asma and whoever. You have the freedom to free yourself of all this high school bullshit. I learned very young that even good friends grow apart when things change. Sometimes that’s for the better.
She's too weak to use her phone because she has no life and so far some pretty lema friends. Everytime I did talk to her on the phone she wanted to get off and use the computer. If her family bothers her then why not hang out? Because she's so anti-social that she wouldn't even eat out. O.o She sits there all day looking at people instead of talking to them. A major creeper.
Taking a break from everything even family. I will be walking around like a zombie and trying not to walk into walls. lol
Ah it's NOVEMBER! I dislike the month. They should take it out of the calander altogether. lol
So... story time? Yes. :3
About hmm 5 years ago I had to go to my sister's friends house to let her spend some time with him. So after their small Thanksgiving before Thanksgiving, I came home with a virus. :D LMFAO! :D
So we were going to our other friends that we've known for years. The kind of friends that are like family sort of thing. And I couldn't be sick eventhough I threw up in the morning. :x
So going there was a blast. :D First we had to buy some soda so my mom went into the store while I was outside like.. BLEAH!!! LOL Then I had to push her to the bus stop and all that telling her that I was fine. Yeah bad lier but still. xP
Ah the bus the BEST part. :3 So she got me a ginger ale and it was supposed to help with a stomach ache. I told her that they changed the soda but NO mommy is always right. lol So instead of drinking a Sprite which maybe I could have kept down that soda made things worse. :D LOL
So I'm siting next to someone and I'm like ... BLEAHHH -burp Bleah!! LMFAO I really burped in public like that. Hahaha People were looking at me and backing away from me like I was a freak. xD Then on one of the next to last stops a guy walks in and sits right next to me. Everyone looked at him like, SUCKA! lol
As soon as we came to our stop I ran to the trash can and threw up some more. LOL My mom goes to yell at me saying that line that I hate, Stop throwing up people will think that you're on drugs or something." I hate that line. I'd never do that.
So we all go upstairs to our friends atp. where everone eats and I can't even bring myself to have a soda. lol I just fall asleep on my friends bed all day while everyone else is watching a Harry Potter movie.
The irony? Thanksgiving is an American holiday where people eat till they stuff themselves. I couldn't even eat. ROFL! :p
Hah! I'll stay away from buses now and yes, I'll try and fuse the days of November to October.
:P
The past truly haunts me
02:36 Nov 17 2010 Times Read: 1,019
.. and I've had a hard day. Feel like crap and the stress hurts. As I look at my warn gloves I can see how torn they are. My hands all hurt and roughed up as well.. when will it all end.. when will things get not good but better.. way better so that I can forget my past. So that I don't have to stair in the mirror and ask why I can't save that girl looking back with the water in her eyes. Ah well.. I'll save the sob stories for next month. For now I'm going to listen to some Led Zep and drown myself in some good old rock/blues.
There are so many name changers here and fakes that it's no wonder why people fight so much. First of all WHO are you hiding from when you end up putting the same stuff back up on your profile.
Anyway, I sort of get this feeling that when people say "I'm NOT lying or I'm a bitch so back off" , that it comes off as, "I'm really fake and I'm a stupid weakling who uses their computer as a way to bully people but I can't do it well because some of the quiet or nicest people are the real bitches. " :P Ah well I guess my point is that ther are some people who are labeled as mean who are the sweetest teddy bears and the other people are so lame. v.v
The best profiles are the honest ones where it just talks about normal things. I don't really care about one's profile anyway unless i really like the person. So go on ahead with your tauntingness. You don't scare me. I'm not talking about any one person but people here in general.
I am hiding from CryingMist if you see here let me know, she has been after me for a few years now... she scares me, she give hugs!!! Ewww she is here!!!!
Nah joke aside, I agree changing name and then puting back the same stuff is not a bright idea, unless you change it to serve a specific vr purpous.
I'm just curious - has anyone brought this to Cancer's attention? He can't be unaware of it. It would be a simple matter of changing some code that makes changing names more onerous and time consuming so that MOST people would just say, Meh, not worth the trouble. I don't think it can be prevented completely of course but it could be slowed down.
I can see all of my stalkers. The people wanted, the people loved and the one's who aren't wanted here. Those last stalkers, go right ahead and read EVERYTHING that I have to say. I'm honored. :P Just don't expect me in your journal any time soon. lol As for the people who have blocked me, so childish. lol Have fun!
And because I've been listening to their songs for some reason... Hey YOU! lol
It's been a while since I've had one of these entries. So here is a bit about what happened today.
My mom is in a wheel chair and I'm pretty much used to pushing her around. No one can do as great a job as I because frankly there just aren't enough strong people these days.
So we were waiting for the bus and these 3 transit like cars park in the bus stop. That's not allowed. So my mom yells at them to move and they do. Then this crazy ass old lady bitch starts yelling at us saying that they can park there. And it's like O.o Um no , no they can't.
So we wait a bit longer and this car pulls up and parks in the same spot. Then my mom tells them to move as well. The person inside starts yelling and then my mom spots a police car and they make them move. ;)
So after more of a wait the bus finally comes. The senile old lady rushes onto the bus then I get my mom on though it's a bit hard to do.
On the way out her chair get's stuck. Guess it was easyer to get in than it was to get out. So the old lady starts yelling and shit cause my mom got up for a second only so that I could un-stick the chair. So I start mumbling and my mom is like whats up? And I'm like "This shit head is just yelling about shit" So the old lady's like "You called me a shit head??" I'm like yeah. She's like "I'm going to put you in that wheel chair" So I'm like "You're bluffing. Go do it." And she just starts yelling and bitching and running her mouth. And I'm like "yo momma" And she's like both yo momma's" And it's like LMFAO my mom's right there ;P And the bus rolls off with with crazy lady as we make our escape. :P Hahahaha the moral of this story: You feel froggy leap bitch. ;)
So I took the train and managed to go to the right stop. I walk up the stairs and bump into a friend from high school. It was one of those small worl moments. We just said hi and bye cause he had to go to some radio station or something. The I walk out of the subway and onto the city blocks. Some rowdy teens walk past me and one yells "OH SHIT YOU'RE SCARY" and I reply with a laugh. lol
So I walk some more and I see this handsome dude with 2 of his friends. This hot guy looking all chill with his Gun's and Rose's hoodie. I smile and walk up to him and go right for the hug. lol
So I got to meet him. =3 I took him to BBQ's in the village where we all got to rest for a bit and eat. Then I took them to Trash where we got to see some pretty cool clothes. I tryed to show him a around for some time so that he could see what the Village was like but there just wasn't enough time to look at it all.
Then we hung out at Washington Square Park. I ended up hugging him and kissing his cheek and stuff. I made him so glittery because of my hair. lol, He didn't like it but I thought it was rather cute. :P I should wear more glitter next time. ;) We took some pictures and he droped me off at my train stop.
I guess I was tired after all. I sorta started falling asleep on the train but stood up and fully woke two stops before so that I made it home.
I know that I must be leaving a lot out in this entry but I'm really tired. He said that he'd be home by 2am. I'm worried about him cause I miss him already. lol Hope you made it home safe baby! -Hugs-
AWWWW "plays the sailor moon song love is in the air'' ROSEY IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU I LOVE HEARING ABOUT ROMANCE i gusse this why you been asking about the romances manga lol
Blah blah blah who cares It's for him!
19:14 Nov 04 2010 Times Read: 1,266
Okay I know that some people hate so many pictures on a profile but I put up a few for him to see. I don't give a shit if anyone hates it. It's all for him and thats all that matters. :3
And yes, I give in I LOVE him! hahaha Love love love and nothing can tear that apart. I am going to have so much fun Friday.
I miss you I miss you I miss you. I'm going to give you my digits tonight. :3 I know that you're at work right now but I miss you! XD
I'm heading outside today and helping with stuff. -Yawns- I didn't get much sleep cause I was up thinking about you and posting my butt off.
So Mommy said that I could borrow her cell to call you sometimes but there are times when she needs the phone so it will be rare but there are times when I can't talk. But thats okay right? I can always talk to you on here.
Can't wait till this Friday. I'm off of VR! Yup, going to have more fun than ever. I'm ditching my friends on here. lol
I just hope the you get here safe and everything. I want you so damn much. You're all I have on my mind now. :P YOU YOU YOU YOU! Miss you. xD
I already spammed you enough so I though that I'd just leave this here instead.
HAH! Poor people. If you were trustworthy, you'd know. ♡
Have fun, and be yourself. You're going to be fine. ♥
PRIVATE ENTRY
16:00 Nov 02 2010 Times Read: 1,314
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Influence
09:24 Nov 02 2010 Times Read: 1,342
The box.. it can be an I.Q. lowering eye sore or a great place to have discussions. So one guy comes in and asks the other.. " tonight i wanna know when and if you know if your life has made an impact on those around you
good ..bad doesnt matter..some sort of differance"
So they begin to talk about it and I realize that here on VR sometimes people do change others for good or for the worst. I find that the best way to communicate with some is from their journals. Given they are bad, bitchy or just plain old whiny. Not that you shouldn't talk to the person but that you can learn a bit more about them. These journals are basicaly an open book waiting to be read.
Could it be that I found it funny when I first thought about having a journal on a vampire site.. that right away I thought about Dracula. How its made up of journal entries and letters. I just never found a way to express that thought. Guess I want to do it here. LOL, one thought on that as well..
(How some people tend to think that this a dating site. Well vampires have been so romantic, do you blame people for thinking that? haha. Journals and letters, adventure and tests for being a hero.. and romance, bloody romance. haha)
So .. going back to that question.. have I changed anyones life? Maybe though I'm not the person to like credit much.
Lets take a look at the month of November. This could be a really bad month for me or a time for something good.. something worthy of the word miracle. Lets see..
I always tend to get deathly sick during this month. Right near Thanksgiving.. a holiday of which I hate. =] From chicken pox when I was 5 to a small case of pneumonia two years ago.. -_-.. to the most ironic story about how I got a .. STOMACH virus. Ah that one was sort of a funny story, but I'll save that for another entry..
Anyway.. the last time I was sick was a few years ago. I ended up getting .. asthma from it. :| I feel dumb for not taking care of myself more then and going to the doctor's. lol Ah but what had happened? Mommy quit smoking because she was worried about her kid. :3 Thats one person that I helped change by quiting.
As for last year, this lonly soul was so loathing about life and what was to come and so worried and freaked and living in hell... and what did she do.. well what did I do? Thats a good question. One night I was doing some laundry. I was so tired of live journal and vampire kisses and all those jerks. I wanted some place to run off to, a place where I belong.
I googled vampire forums. Two places showed up. Vampires.nu and VampireRave. So I tryed vampires.nu first. :P LMFAO! What a mistake. :D Nothing but sexist bastards.
Then I went to Vampire Rave. I didn't spend much time on it because well I didn't have a computer. I was using the library or a net cafe' when I felt really out of character.
Ah November... November 10th. That will be one year on vr, though it won't say it on this profile.
I hope that I have been a good person on here because you know what? The people here have made me feel so much better and have given me emotional strength to do so much more. so to you raver's.. I thank you for helping my life.
I wanna know and enjoy reading your bloody pad journal entries... Where are they?
PRIVATE ENTRY
10:29 Nov 01 2010 Times Read: 1,366
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Who wants to see somthing funny?
04:37 Nov 01 2010 Times Read: 883
That was some fucking joke right? I mean seriously, DUDE WTF? Yo man, hahahaha you pimp daddy you. :P You are not getting an attention whoring favor bitch back. You already fucked with me. Now hmmm I was diging my grave back then huh? I'm not the one who fucked up a whole coven by fucking over it's former master and getting rid of a member for posting alot.
How dumb is it to 'help' another coven when you're coven is falling apart already. I mean REALLY???
Hey so cheers to ME always winning. :3 Word.
Message To: **********
Sorry but I don't want to leave my coven ever. :P
Also sorry about your old coven. :| I really did enjoy posting there when I was there.
As for my other profile. Well it's an ACM and I'm not leaving Juny's.
Good luck and whishes to your new coven. Cheers.
I could make a third profile but naw.
On 04:03:04 Nov 01 2010 (-0 GMT) ********** wrote:
Okay, I'm just taking a stab in the dark here but I'll be making another coven that, hopefully, people will like better. And I would like for you to visit it for a while to help me build up favor for it so I can get members since you're such a killer favor maker.
COMMENTS
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JunyCrist
06:22 Nov 30 2010
:)